Well today arrived and I made it here safely. Quite what I thought would happen I don't know but it was a hard journey that I was glad to get to the end of.
I went to the hospital really hoping I had made my goal. I waited on the scales with bated breath ( they weigh me in kgs and I had to wait for the conversion). I was disappointed. I was only 1lb short of my goal but I had not made it. I spoke to the dietitian and she was very pleased with me. As I sat there I realised that I still felt positive and I must not let one single little pound put me off this path that I am following so well.
I left the hospital and walked passed the coffee shop with all the cakes and pastries, I walked passed the sweet shop too. I was really proud of myself. Not much of an achievement to a normal person but to me it was amazing. Normally I would have rewarded my weight loss with a cake or sweet.
It was lovely to return to work and to have a normal (diet) lunch. I did not go mad but I had a sandwich, some salad and a yogurt and I really enjoyed every mouthful.
I was not successful in the evening. Having lost 5lbs last week at Weightwatchers I was hopeful of another 5lbs this week. I was therefore disappointed when it was only 2lbs. This still means I have lost 7lbs in two weeks but I must admit I was hoping for more. I therefore went home and moped. I ate toast, crisps and biscuits. None in huge quantities but enough to be cross with myself.
My aim now is to lose another 4lbs as soon as possible so I go into that magic next stone down. I am also determined not to ruin everything this week. I just want to eat as sensibly as possible. I will update you all very soon.
Tuesday 18 September 2007
Sunday 16 September 2007
Sunday 16th September - Oops, Another Blip!
Today started off really well. I was revitalized from yesterday when I had a very successful day with my eating. I had also been out walking with a friend for about an hour. It was great we hadn't seen each other for ages and we talked the whole time, it made the time pass so quickly.
My toddler had a lie in and I did not need to get up until 07.15 which was very refreshing as he normally wakes about 05.15. I did all my housework and washing and then went to visit a friend and her new baby. Still all is well as I have only had a shake and a cup of tea. I then took my toddler swimming which in itself is good as it is also exercise for me. However when we got out the water is was 1pm, we were tired and still had places to go before we went home. Wetherspoons here we come.......It was only a wrap, a diet coke and few chips but I still felt guilty. However I must add that i did enjoy every single mouthful and I mowed two lawns in the afternoon to try to work it off!!!!
Tomorrow is my double weigh in, the first at the hospital in the morning and the second is at Weightwatchers in the evening. I await both with bated breath. I have my fingers crossed that I make my targets but if I don't I do know that in all honesty I really could not have tried any harder this week. I will report back tomorrow night or Tuesday morning to let you know how I got on.
My toddler had a lie in and I did not need to get up until 07.15 which was very refreshing as he normally wakes about 05.15. I did all my housework and washing and then went to visit a friend and her new baby. Still all is well as I have only had a shake and a cup of tea. I then took my toddler swimming which in itself is good as it is also exercise for me. However when we got out the water is was 1pm, we were tired and still had places to go before we went home. Wetherspoons here we come.......It was only a wrap, a diet coke and few chips but I still felt guilty. However I must add that i did enjoy every single mouthful and I mowed two lawns in the afternoon to try to work it off!!!!
Tomorrow is my double weigh in, the first at the hospital in the morning and the second is at Weightwatchers in the evening. I await both with bated breath. I have my fingers crossed that I make my targets but if I don't I do know that in all honesty I really could not have tried any harder this week. I will report back tomorrow night or Tuesday morning to let you know how I got on.
Friday 14 September 2007
Friday 14th September - Weekend Approaching
I was dreading today; it has been such a hard week and I knew if I was going to have a problem it would be this weekend. Little did I know I would fail before I got there! I am at work feeling very under the weather. I'm not sure if it is "that Friday feeling" or what but I am definitely not my usual annoying self. Anyway I was struggling along, having had my shake for breakfast and promising myself my lovely fruit at 10.30 as usual when.................one of my staff produced a box of chocolates, masses of cakes and piles of Indian snacks. She is leaving today and decided to bring in some treats. I fought and fought against it but I succumbed to one - Just one - samosa. I enjoyed it but I guess it really wasn't worth it.
Once I had eaten it I decided it was time for a blog entry. I wanted to tell you all what I had done (confess my guilty secret) but I also wanted it in the open and to say that I am not going to let this push me off my path. I am going straight back to where I was and I am not going to stray anymore this weekend. On Monday or Tuesday once I have finished my Slimfast fortnight I am going to have a meal out or a take away. Nothing too grand but just something enjoyable and knowing I have that to look forward to is enough to keep me going.
I am still hoping for another 5/6 lbs loss on Monday evening. I am going to keep myself as busy as possible over the weekend and try and swim and visit the gym as well. This will help.
Once I had eaten it I decided it was time for a blog entry. I wanted to tell you all what I had done (confess my guilty secret) but I also wanted it in the open and to say that I am not going to let this push me off my path. I am going straight back to where I was and I am not going to stray anymore this weekend. On Monday or Tuesday once I have finished my Slimfast fortnight I am going to have a meal out or a take away. Nothing too grand but just something enjoyable and knowing I have that to look forward to is enough to keep me going.
I am still hoping for another 5/6 lbs loss on Monday evening. I am going to keep myself as busy as possible over the weekend and try and swim and visit the gym as well. This will help.
Tuesday 11 September 2007
Tuesday 11th September - A New Week
Well the day itself is beautiful. I am not sure how I feel...daunted by the fact that I have another hard week ahead (as I am committed to continue this 2 meals as Slimfast until next Monday) but also positive that I have completed one week and another week will be no harder and will achieve good results. However then I feel down as there is such a long way to go. It is swings and roundabouts all the time. I must just make sure that I do not give in whether I am on a low or a high.
It is now only 3 months to Christmas and I would love to be able to have a couple of days off to enjoy the Christmas festivities. I will only do that if in 3 months time I can report on here that I have lost a total of minimum 2stone (28lbs). I might even be brave a post a picture once I am 2 stone lighter, who knows!
This morning I sat in bed and thought about my family and how lucky I am. I also thought about how much I need my health to be able to look after them and to enjoy life with them. I have been married for 7 years (second time round) and I have 2 grown up boys, they are 23 and 21. I also have a toddler who is nearly two and a half. I am very close to 50 years old and as I said in an earlier post I am currently morbidly obese. As you imagine this can restrict what I can do with him and for him. Although my weight loss is definitely for me I know if I can stick to it my husband and my young son (and maybe in a few years my grand children) will all benefit from the fit, healthy and active mother/wife.
I will go now and get on with my work but hopefully address the day positively and successfully again................
It is now only 3 months to Christmas and I would love to be able to have a couple of days off to enjoy the Christmas festivities. I will only do that if in 3 months time I can report on here that I have lost a total of minimum 2stone (28lbs). I might even be brave a post a picture once I am 2 stone lighter, who knows!
This morning I sat in bed and thought about my family and how lucky I am. I also thought about how much I need my health to be able to look after them and to enjoy life with them. I have been married for 7 years (second time round) and I have 2 grown up boys, they are 23 and 21. I also have a toddler who is nearly two and a half. I am very close to 50 years old and as I said in an earlier post I am currently morbidly obese. As you imagine this can restrict what I can do with him and for him. Although my weight loss is definitely for me I know if I can stick to it my husband and my young son (and maybe in a few years my grand children) will all benefit from the fit, healthy and active mother/wife.
I will go now and get on with my work but hopefully address the day positively and successfully again................
Monday 10 September 2007
Monday 10th September - 1st Weigh In
I have finally reached the end of my first week. It was hard but I was so happy that I had reached it without giving in. I went to attend my weekly weigh in and I had lost 5 lbs!! I was really happy. Many of you may think 5lbs.....when she has more than 100 to lose - the woman is mad to be so happy...... but for anyone who has tried and failed you will understand the euphoria of a 5lbs loss!
It was no magical potion, it was no special diet. I just went to the supermarket and bought lots of skimmed milk, one packet of slimfast strawberry milk shake and lots and lots of mixed fruit. Every morning I drank one strawberry shake for breakfast and whilst I was drinking this (I do not like the taste and it was easier to keep myself busy) I would make my husband's lunch and also cut up 4 pieces of fruit. I put the fruit in 2 separate containers. I would then go off to work with my jug, my whisk, my milk, my shake and my fruit. Everyone at work thought it was hysterical but I did not tell them what my whisk was for, I wanted to keep them guessing, it was my secret......
During the day I would drink two or three glasses of water and eat one container of chopped up fruit. I ate it with a fork and I ate it slowly. I found it far more satisfying than eating one apple or a pear. At lunchtime I had another milk shake. In the afternoon I continued to drink more water. As soon as I got home I enjoyed the second container of fruit whilst I prepared the family evening meal. The meal I was to eat had to be 600 calories. However I have tried to eat exactly what my husband and son eat but maybe a little less. It has certainly given them far more healthy and interesting meals with loads of vegetables.
Today, Monday was a very hard day. I thought the weekend would be the hardest but I managed that by keeping busy. I think there were two things that kept me going today. The first was the weigh in tonight and the second was that I have my third hospital visit on Monday 17th. This should be enough to keep me going for another week. I will keep you posted..........
Tomorrow I will tell you a little more about me and my family and maybe this will help you understand my difficulties or it may help you work with yours.
It was no magical potion, it was no special diet. I just went to the supermarket and bought lots of skimmed milk, one packet of slimfast strawberry milk shake and lots and lots of mixed fruit. Every morning I drank one strawberry shake for breakfast and whilst I was drinking this (I do not like the taste and it was easier to keep myself busy) I would make my husband's lunch and also cut up 4 pieces of fruit. I put the fruit in 2 separate containers. I would then go off to work with my jug, my whisk, my milk, my shake and my fruit. Everyone at work thought it was hysterical but I did not tell them what my whisk was for, I wanted to keep them guessing, it was my secret......
During the day I would drink two or three glasses of water and eat one container of chopped up fruit. I ate it with a fork and I ate it slowly. I found it far more satisfying than eating one apple or a pear. At lunchtime I had another milk shake. In the afternoon I continued to drink more water. As soon as I got home I enjoyed the second container of fruit whilst I prepared the family evening meal. The meal I was to eat had to be 600 calories. However I have tried to eat exactly what my husband and son eat but maybe a little less. It has certainly given them far more healthy and interesting meals with loads of vegetables.
Today, Monday was a very hard day. I thought the weekend would be the hardest but I managed that by keeping busy. I think there were two things that kept me going today. The first was the weigh in tonight and the second was that I have my third hospital visit on Monday 17th. This should be enough to keep me going for another week. I will keep you posted..........
Tomorrow I will tell you a little more about me and my family and maybe this will help you understand my difficulties or it may help you work with yours.
Monday 3rd September 2007 - Week 1 Starting Out
I was at my lowest, I was tired, lethargic and I was getting depressed. I have been over weight all my life and have constantly been on some sort of diet. I was making excuse after excuse instead of getting my life and my eating organised and actually seeing some results.
To add insult to injury I had even been to my doctor a few months previously and begged his help. He kindly put me in touch with a weight management group at the hospital. They were really good, they talked to me, helped me and supported me. Still I did not do what they suggested. Oh I had every good reason under the sun not to do it....I was too tired, too busy, working too hard, I had had a stressful day with my young son, we had no suitable food...and so it went on. In fact not one of these reasons was really relevant. The long and short of it was I was obsessed. Obsessed with eating food though, not obsessed with loosing weight.
I don't know what kick started me but I think in all honesty it was the realisation that I was due back in the hospital in two weeks and I was at that time about 5lbs heavier than when I last went. My aim was to be 9lbs lighter. I felt unable to fail again and I was suddenly spurred into action. I made a plan and I stuck to it for 7 days.
7 entire days!!!! Never before have I managed this. I was so happy I felt I could succeed and maybe I should share my experience and maybe help someone else.
I will tell you more about what I did later on but for now I am just happy that I stuck to everything I planned for 7 whole days. I have over 100lb to lose and I am not looking at the whole task just the little individual chunks that are relevant for each week. My first aim is to lose 7lb, then 14lb and then I plan a small treat. My ultimate aim to to never again be clinically morbidly obese!!!
To add insult to injury I had even been to my doctor a few months previously and begged his help. He kindly put me in touch with a weight management group at the hospital. They were really good, they talked to me, helped me and supported me. Still I did not do what they suggested. Oh I had every good reason under the sun not to do it....I was too tired, too busy, working too hard, I had had a stressful day with my young son, we had no suitable food...and so it went on. In fact not one of these reasons was really relevant. The long and short of it was I was obsessed. Obsessed with eating food though, not obsessed with loosing weight.
I don't know what kick started me but I think in all honesty it was the realisation that I was due back in the hospital in two weeks and I was at that time about 5lbs heavier than when I last went. My aim was to be 9lbs lighter. I felt unable to fail again and I was suddenly spurred into action. I made a plan and I stuck to it for 7 days.
7 entire days!!!! Never before have I managed this. I was so happy I felt I could succeed and maybe I should share my experience and maybe help someone else.
I will tell you more about what I did later on but for now I am just happy that I stuck to everything I planned for 7 whole days. I have over 100lb to lose and I am not looking at the whole task just the little individual chunks that are relevant for each week. My first aim is to lose 7lb, then 14lb and then I plan a small treat. My ultimate aim to to never again be clinically morbidly obese!!!
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