I cannot believe I can have been so stupid and completely useless. I have undone all the good work I did. I just seem to be completely obsessed with food and eating.
I went on holiday and just enjoyed myself. I did not think about diets at all. This was my plan and this went OK. However when I returned I did not go food shopping and I ate take aways and sandwiches all week. It was the worst ever return from holiday. At Weightwatchers I put on 4lbs. Now you would presume this would kick start me into getting started again as I am only three weeks away from hospital appointment but NO it didn't. Infact I ate more (at least I feel like I am).
Another week of over eating and binging continued and it was so bad I did not even go to Weightwatchers. I had worked hard and been ill but it was no excuse. I was just frightened of what I would hear.
So here I am today, dejected, down, fat and uncomfortable. I have a personal trainer who I see twice a week and a dietitian who I see once a month. I have to sort myself out. I have so much help.
A message to my husband (who is also dieting), please will you help me, I need your help, please can we work together at this and let me sort myself out. I will be so much happier once I am in control instead of food being in control??
My promise to everyone out there in the big bad world including my family who are supporting me all the way is that -: From today I will do everything I can do to stay on the straight and narrow. Hospital is 2 weeks today. I will therefore do slimfast for rest of this week. Have weekend off slim fast but NOT off diet. I will then do slimfast for 11 days up to my weigh in. This is my punishment. Hopefully I will appreciate food again afterwards. I am only letting myself off this weekend as we are going away to a hotel.
I will try and report in very soon. If I dont it probably means I have failed and need a comment as support to get me going again.
Wednesday 10 October 2007
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